so whats everyone doing tonight?

this year was a going to be a white christmas guaranteed of snow up to my knees and cold up to shoulders in bed. well...things change because of this weather i so dream of in alaska. last friday was to be our "set sail" date to anchorage alaska inevitably to wasilla, you know the place sarah palin is from? well, we get to the airport, we sit down to eat in the airport version of on the border called something or another in spanish, and realize our flight has been delayed. most likely due to the weather already taking place in seattle, "no worries," we thought, this will help ensure our meal to be enjoyable, however enjoyable an airport meal can be. i am not gonna lie i was really dreading how peanut was gonna be on this flight. when liz and i have to fly, and dutch has to go with us, we always try to time it out when he will be wide awake for a long leg of the trip. this was to ensure that he can be awake and HAPPY. well we were successful in getting on the plane with this attitude. within a matter of minutes it took a turn for the worst. here in sequence is what had taken place:

original time of departure - 2:15

time we boarded - 3:30

"not so bad" we thought, we were sure we would not make the seattle to anchorage connection anyway.

3:55 - "this is your captain, we ummm...have a low tire so, we are gonna have to put air in it to fill it up to its needed pressure. this will take about 20-30 minutes." "no problem," is what i was thinking. dutch at this point was enamored with his books and under control for the most part.

4:20 - "ummm, this is your captain, again, we ummm...need to replace the whole tire altogether, and this will take about an hour to accomplish." "yikes!" you know when the captain comes on the intercom and everyone, and i mean everyone becomes silent? well this happened just as it should when someone of importance is making an announcement, but at the moment the captain announced the hour delay and there was that brief pause of silence a man spoke very loudly, not shouted mind you, but loudly "jesus christ." it was just loud enough for the entire plane to hear, including the two young fellows who were sitting next to him. i hate that phrase more than anything, but this was humorous in the fact that he looked like a complete nerd. dutch at this point is getting restless and wanting his BED.

5:15 - "this is your captain again...well, there is good news and bad news. the bad news is that my crew and i have been up since 1am and are not authorized to fly this plane, so...the flight has been canceled. the good news is that we are giving everyone on the flight free hotel vouchers for the night and we will resume the flight at 6am in the morning" well, that is just bad news and irrelevant news for us cause we DON'T need a hotel we live here. dutch at this point has been crying his head off for well over an eternity, it seemed like it anyway. everyone on the flight, well, i say everyone only the mothers, are coming by giving us little bits of advice for what they did in this crisis. if i could put in words what i was feeling, i would no longer be considered a christian. i am just that way when it comes to screaming babies, no matter who's it is. 

6:00 - we are at the baggage claim waiting on our luggage. the funny thing is that everyone who is needing a place to stay for the night is in line to get their voucher at the ticket desk and NOT picking their luggage up. so, that means, their bags are all piling up at the carousel and, of course, none of them are ours. if you could have seen this little bitty carousel and these monstrous bags piling up clogging the carousel; clogging it so much that people were climbing up on the belt and pulling the bags onto the carousel. it was pretty funny, and it was funny at this point because peanut had calmed down and was about to fall asleep, otherwise, i would not be laughing.

8:00 - we finally get a hold of an agent to reschedule our flight. i didn't want to be one of "those guys" who yells at the customer care person, cause its not their fault but i needed to get a flight out of dallas. his name was erik and if, for some strange reason, he reads this blog, thanks a mill. 

updated flight times:

monday, december 22 7:30am

this was great cause dutch would have just woken up and he is his best when he first awakes for the day. the day comes, and we wake to the text message on liz's phone that the flight, duhn duhn duhn, has been canceled! blast!!! so, after 4 hours of busy signal on the 1-800 number, which by the way, i have never, ever, ever, heard of a busy signal on the 1-800 number, and 1 hour of being on hold once connection was made, the option was...the morning of december 26th. NO CAN DO! we will be getting a refund, and will be making a very sad phone call to grandma debbie and family that they will not be seeing us for christmas this year. i could expound on the individuals in this whole transition of weather sabotage, but my instincts tell me that even though i am pursuing a counseling degree to read people, my wife is so much more capable of reading personalities than i am. i will leave that to her. so, that leaves me with this question...what's everyone doing tonight? cause i am not doing anything!

wait five minutes

this weather brings out the weirdest individuals. you got the ones who own 4 wheel drive vehicles and are the first ones out of bed for this weather. they know with the power of all wheels being able to move at once nothing on the bridges or falling from the freezing sky can stop their machine from getting to its destination in an acceptable time. those who own other vehicles are the ones that 4 wheel drivers are yelling at when approaching overpasses. people who drive 2 wheel drive vehicles are in danger of being all over the road and therefore take their precious time in maneuvering around. these people are plenty in texas and make life difficult for out-of-towners. but the most common statement everyone has to explain any amount of drastic weather in texas is, "thats just texas weather!" what a stupid comment. most smart people will call their immediate supervisor and state the obvious that they are unable to make it to work on time and sleep another hour. some people will make the most of their workday without going in by going to the local starbucks to accomplish all that the internet can provide for them. but for those who go to school nothing is better than seeing the scrolling ticker announce that your school is closed due to inclement weather. i would always be right in front of the tv watching, anticipating, using my christian faith to will the closing of my school. the great thing about going to a private school is that you got people, sometimes the majority, driving in from all over the metroplex and the weather would suggest that it would be better to just skip the day than have school for 5-10 students. i remember the last year i worked at starbucks we shut down early due to inclement weather, that feeling was amazing. of course that can only happen to the closing crew and not the opening shift.

ya hear that...

...silence, it's golden yes, it's peaceful yes, but it's dark, and it's revealing. don't be afraid of it because it is in silence that you can reflect on things that need to be different. and the great thing about this is that everyone has things that need to be different, but many are afraid to be silent because it is so daunting. we would rather fill it with something than come face to face with what needs to be different in our life.

watch out!!!

here he comes, mr. 75% head. i can't remember what my life was like that first year of living. but now i can get a glimpse and my words are...i am sorry mom and dad. i only say this because i now realize that once kids are in the picture alarm clocks are not, for now anyway. i hope to HAVE to use that thing again but for now nothing screams wake up at 6am like a 1 YEAR OLD!!! horray son of mine. one and still climbing. i am so proud to be proven wrong. what i mean by that is that when he first started making noises like "oo" i began to wonder what babies with disorders first sounds were. i know he doesn't have one but i would joke with liz occasionally that they existed in peanut. she was not happy when this occurred. but my son is one and for his first birthday one of the youth asked me, "what are ya gonna get him?" i smiled back and answered like a true lowrie/bill cosby father would..."a roof over his head, and food on his table." besides no one and i mean NO ONE can remember their first birthday present, and if they can they are lying. i won't forget though, the day liz and i went to the hosp. the day he was coming out and we played the waiting game forever, and then the moment he popped out. i had no idea what to expect. i even forgot how to hold babies but the minute they handed him to me i became a natural all over again. to day i realized one year ago he was sleeping his whole day away, now...i wish i could. i love this son if mine and will never forget the first night he was at our house.

we are running out

when coldplay's viva la vida came out there was controversy as to whether or not they had copied from a no namer creaky boards. i remember brad shull had brought this to my attention. i thought nothing of it as i could definitely hear in the song different notes played. but the latest to my knowledge is viva la vida copying a song by joe satriani entitled if i could fly. 



this sounds like coldplay invited santana to remix the song with them! it brings me to wonder, as many probably do, when are we gonna run out of song ideas? when are all the melodies, chord progressions, and rhythms all gonna be used and then have to be reused, if they haven't already? i mean the modern rock revolution, which started in early to mid 1900's, is revealing that we are running out of ideas, especially if we are taking a song by joe satriani and redoing it. i think the beatles, the stones, and all those revolutionary bands are revolutionary because NO one before them were doing what they were doing, obviously. but the songs that are being written today are harder to write and harder to create because most, if not all, has been done already. so by that logic bands today are better than the 50's pop bands, because they had no scale to compare it to. now days everyone who writes songs, including the great radiant, are labeled and branded as copycats because most of the musical genius has been done. with that said i am in awe of musical acts, such as U2, that have been able to stick around and bring original sounds decade after decade. its tough, i don't claim to have the answer but i do think that if your trying to be a musician now a days it's way harder and more difficult even now than it was ten years ago. it gets harder as the years grow older. regardless if this claim against coldplay is true or not i truly don't think anyone would lower themselves to copy JOE SATRIANI!

god help us we are being treated fairly

ok "black friday" should not come after the greatest day in american history, besides independence day. i believe, as we observe the atrocities of consumers willing to trample on people to get "the deal" of the century, this nation has sunk into an all time low. i like deals and cherish the "free" market, if you really want to call it that, society we live in as much as the next guy. however, when i hear stories of gunmen in the parking lots, wal-mart employees getting trampled to death, and people fighting over...what was the in thing a few years ago, oh yeah "tickle me elmo," i get sick to my stomach and detest my american brethren. who can i attribute this behavior? who will take the blame? you can for some of it, i could as well, and i think anyone who desires to live in this "great" nation. but when you get a certain freedom you get certain consequences with that freedom, and i for one am always deciphering if it's the best for me...er us as a whole. sure, kids who get what they want from their parent(s) at an early age will in fact begin to love that parent(s) more than anyone else. because they give them what they want. but then you can see as plain as the night from the day that this child will not be a "healthy" child in the sense that they will seek to follow a moral code that governs humanity, right? america has morphed into a state of anything goes consumerism. and as a result we, and i am including myself in this too, have began to believe we are entitled to something, we deserve it, we need it, we can't live without this or that. we will go to great lengths to gain, or preserve this right, or protect (through the federal documents) what we think we deserve to make it fair and balanced. does anyone see the flaw in this ideology. i HATE it! and i know people will say "well, i don't agree, but i know you have that right to say that and i will defend until the death your right to say that" and blah blah blah. do we really want what is fair? stop and think about if we are really wanting to get fair and balanced on a spiritual scale? if we REALLY got what was FAIR...that means eternal damnation right? i know it won't change cause that wouldn't be profitable. this holiday season prefer your neighbor, prefer the person behind you who has one or two items compared to your fifty and let them check our before you. there is no reason to get up at 3 in the morning to go shopping for items that will be there on the shelves next week. before you put something on the 15% interest rate credit card stop and think...can i maybe get something just as great but not as expensive. the great thing about gift cards, in my opinion, is that you can put an amount on them and it doesn't have to be the full amount but can be a great or significant percentage towards the product. i know genius, right? what about going in and paying an equal share with someone else to get the bigger item. "but zach, christmas is about giving gifts no matter how big!" please, that worldview will hurt you not just in the long run but in the first month of the new year when you gotta pay that purchase off plus interest. there really is no great or huge thing to do at this point in time to expose the charlatan america has made the holiday seasons. but in this capitalistic holiday season don't think "me" or "i" don't even think about "us" or "we" because even in that you still are preferring yourself. instead think, that person, or them, just think how can you prefer your neighbor over yourself. make it "unfair" by lifting someone else over your needs.

did i give the wrong number!?!?!?

i have the opportunity every now and then to work out of the most convenient starbucks. i loathe the collins and green oaks closing so i am forced to make another location feasible to my needs. i ventured into the lamar and collins location, mrs. laurinda dunn's establishment, and although this particular store is not necessarily in the busiest intersection i imagine since the closing of collins and green oaks it has increased in business. i tend to stay away from these stores. i hate that the drive in starbucks is the majority in my area. it is completely disadvantageous for my concentrating needs. well i pressed through anyway and studied the material i have been working on for the last few weeks concerning a model of the church that will address the needs for growth into maturity, the needs of others, and empowering the layman. i was working when the spirit quickened to me to bless an individual. i had no picture in my mind as to what specific individual, but rather i thought maybe i should buy someone lunch. i went to the chick-fil-a right across 30. as you can imagine the chicken king of the world was very intense, people in an out, things being shouted across the floor, and the lunch "rush." so i ate and moved to another location, i used to frequent, and asked the lord to show me someone to bless. i love thrift town. it is always a gold mine for clothing. i went in and saw this younger woman and her son in a cart. she was shopping and i got the direction from the lord pretty early but she wasn't done shopping and i didn't want to follow her around...how weird would that be. but towards the end of her spree i stopped her and asked her if i could buy her clothes for her. now granted she had a basket full of clothes and i was not comfortable at all with purchasing this cart load of clothing. never the less, i began to inform her that the lord wanted to bless her today and he wanted her to get a tangible view of his blessing by allowing me to do it. she was a little hesitant, and rightfully so. i then proceeded to inform her that my family was having a dinner (shabbat) that night and i thought it would be great for her and her significant other to come and meet my family and have dinner too. i continued to calm her nerves by telling her "yes, yes, i know this sounds really weird and that this sort of thing doesn't happen in our culture" but i didn't not want to offer a back door for her to say no. i didn't want to give her the option of backing out of a continual blessing by stating "if you want," or "if your not to busy." god wanted to, not just bless her and her family but, bring her in to an understanding of a lifelong blessing. i gave her my number and showed her pictures of my son on my phone to ensure her this was not a guy hitting on a girl and wanting to go down that road. we went to the register and i proceeded to tell her about the shabbat meal and the meaning behind it. after the purchase we walked outside and i told her about grace and how she is a candidate of unmerited favor of the lord. not only did he desire to give her salvation but even more than this god wanted her to experience ON THIS EARTH his favors and benefits. she never ended up coming over but she did text me, so you know...got her number, and she is stuck to be liz and my friend. i rushed home and told liz about it. i was so nervous during the whole process and when i told her my number, and she didn't call for a while i got a little nervous that i gave her the wrong number. i had told her she needed to let me know soon so my mom could set an extra 2 settings at the table. well she had the right number and texted me about how her boyfriend was blown away, and she had been praying for this for a while. awesome, and i feel as though there is a genuine connection there. i will post an update for the world to see the testimony of gods doing later when i get a chance. again the best encouragement i can give is stop talking about doing it and do it...then post the testimony for others to see what god has used you to do.

hey doctor maserati!

the wealthy are tough cookies to crack. there are numerous business men i desire to encourage but for some reason i get this rock heavy feeling inside every time i reach the door to their office. there is this one gentlemen i know god wants to encourage, you know those individuals who have this favorable countenance that is viewable without talking to them well this guy has that, but i think to much into his perspective on the approach. "he probably has it all" is one of my inclinations. another would be, "he may think he doesn't need god." anyways...i am gonna do it anyway. i don't wanna jeopardize the opportunity cause of my assumptions. here it goes...  

gets easier every time

in august i had entered into this little gas station that is by my parents house cause i felt compelled to go in there for a reason. it was a sunday i think, or a saturday, either way the place was bone dry. no one had come in and out for a while. this prompted me to strike a conversation up with the guy who worked there, his name is kumar. he is from nepal and we began to talk about his country and what brought him here to america, and all those little quirky little facts about nepal and stuff. i was talking with him for about 20 min before i heard the lord tell me to give him $20. i thought again, nah, this can't be the lord. but i heard it again, and felt it this time. i took it out after he was helping someone who had come into his store and explained to him that this was a special $20. i said to him, "i don't know why (i really did however) but i must give you this $20 and it is to go to something special in your life." he replied that he was going back to his country the next month and that he needed money because his job was not helping him much. i figured that it was for this trip. he was very encouraged and blessed to receive this money and asked for my name and number, which he wanted to write on the bill. i politely asked for a paper and pen because i didn't want my number and name to be on this bill which would end up in lord knows who's hands. but there was something else about this trip i was sensing and i said, "there is something about this trip that will change your life kumar." he took out his phone and opened it up to a young woman also nepalese and had explained that he was going to get married to her. i was so encouraged to know i was able to contribute to his cause. as i was walking out i turned around to him and said to him, "kumar, i believe there is a god in heaven who loves you dearly, i believe that he wants to reveal himself to you and show you his love. do you believe that?" he shook his head yes. i told him that i would be praying that jesus christ would reveal himself to him. kumar again shook his head in acknowledgement. well, that was in august and since then i have been in his store a few times, waiting for his return. the last time i went in there was a few days ago. the young man behind the register recognized me from the last few times i had visited. i didn't even need to say anything, he told me kumar would be back in the latter part of dec. i asked the guy where he was from and he replied the same country as kumar, they are roommates. as it turns out this young man, named riki, has been told all about my exchange with kumar as well. i could sense in his countenance that he is vulnerable to love and support from the living and active god of heaven and earth. i have made it my mission to spread that love and support to these two individuals. when kumar gets back i am gonna pour into his life the love of the greatest prophet, the greatest teacher, the greatest leader, and only messiah he has ever heard of until he accepts him. i will NOT take no for an answer. i don't know why i have relayed this message to you. but i guess it is to further the boldness of the individuals who read it. the greatest need that needs to be met in someone else's life can sometimes be the greatest gift you ALREADY posses to offer. fear tells you that you have nothing to offer. since this encounter i have made it a priority to encounter people in the same manner. it will never be an encounter unless you make it an encounter, which requires action. stop talking about doing it and do it. i have met some interesting people and have shared some great things with people since this revelation of meeting kumar's need. and it gets easier every time.

all that in 24 hours

random things going on:

1. dutch this morning unfortunately woke up around 6...but then as i got my pants on and was about to go get him i looked at the monitor and low and behold no flashing red lights so he had fallen back to sleep. praise the lord. then he woke up an hour later, so i got an hour extra sleep this morning. all i can say is thank you little man, thank you. got up around 7 and had to hurry cause i wanted to get him adjusted before i dropped him off at the smiths. i really had to hurry. but all got done and "the power is on" as dr. rob would say. 

2. gas was amazingly $1.90 this morning. i only had to pay $25 dollars to fill my tank. this is amazing which led me to think when the last time gas was below $2. the last time according to dallas business journal was dec. of 2005. that to me sounds too close but still that was 3 years ago. i am so glad that prices are dipping.

3. i woke up and put on my nicer, rock n roll attire and thought i will go by kacy and dragan's starbucks this morning and pay them a visit, obviously i get free coffee out of it but still seeing them is cool too. well this store is located in a part of town i don't go to very often and the coffee drinkers in there are very "fond" of men, if you catch my drift. well upon my entry into the store i didn't really think anything of it. i mean as jerry seinfeld feels, "not that there's anything wrong with that," i feel it too so it doesn't freak me out. i then realize what i am wearing...tight nicer jeans, and a snugger fit armani exchange smooth shirt. i realize my clothing alone puts me in a canidacy for "mr. right." yikes! needless to say i didn't linger there much and chat long, i left to my place of employment quicker than usual.

4. last nights get to bed routine was quick and seamless. once i got in bed i played the usual 2 or 3 games of solitaire on my phone and put it away. last night however, i got so filled with anxiety to pursue this guy at my work place named dave. i think he has family here in the city but not sure. i have been praying for him a lot and hope to go hang with him soon. but then i thought why not invite him to thanksgiving with my family and the hundreds of other families that join us? i begin to think how important it has become in my life in the last month and half or so. i realize i have changed dramatically and grown exponentially over the last 6 months. i can remember the message i was preaching with my whole heart to young people, essentially to make him number one above anything else, and out of that will come a desire to do other things in life that please him. like evangelism for example. i am not admitting to accomplishing the greatest commandment and have no more issues, but i realize that last nigh i gotta do more for others. i gotta not just DO more but CREATE more opportunities. i am not gonna meet lost people at church on sunday morning. i am not gonna meet lost people in my house. i gotta create these opportunities to meet lost people and build relationship with them. i don't feel like people will grasp the concept of god, even if i where to be able to explain it, on the first introduction. it will take many more meetings. meeting lost people is easy for me, but relating them to christ is hard. but anyway i lay awake just grieving that i haven't done enough and hope that i can effectively pave the way for a relationship with lost people. i don't know that many... sad i know. holidays are a good time of the year to include those who don't have family, or maybe even those who do but are lost, to come to your house and enjoy the holiday feasting together. even if they are atheist or agnostic they gotta eat, right? and i guarantee that they are NOT gonna go to work on the sanctioned holidays the public honors.

ain't no sunshine when she's gone

this is not my first night to spend without liz, and totally in charge of peanut, but i feel weird. i don't know how to explain it but for some strange reason this night feels like she is gone for a long time. she will return to our house on wednesday night. i miss her more than i have before on her trips to other business places. i think it it cause i realize how much she really does, maybe this is why god made woman. he looked thousands of years in advance to this one particular guy, named zach, and said, "sheesh, he is gonna need lots of help that week, i might as well create help for all MANkind!" i don't know random blabbering from my mouth, but seriously, liz...you better not find some handsome millionaire hunkerama and decide he could help you out in all the ways i can't!!! and if you do just remember that our kid is a combo meal of you and ME, so you will never be able to make another cute baby like peanut without me. 

doc, i know i'm here but i gotta go back to the future

i have been working on this church model that is designed after a few scriptures but one in particular is the one in revelation when jesus says "behold i stand at the door and knock, whoever hears my voice and opens the door i will come in to him and dine with him and he with me." this scripture to me is the classic case of meeting someone's need. the american culture is centered around the table. it doesn't take someone very long to find out how much the u.s. loves its food. the key component of this model is the fellowship aspect, or the dine aspect. when i was in belgium talking with adam mccain he had mentioned this new mcdonalds in ft. worth. he asked if we had heard of it, "it can hold 10,000 people, has 200 registers and feeds a billion people in this one location on a weekly basis." i looked at allyster and we glanced back and forth in shock that we hadn't even heard of this. "no" we replied, "we haven't." adam said "that is because it DOES NOT exist." mcdonalds doesn't try and bring in millions to one location, they spread there stores out broadly over a metroplex in order to feed the people where they are. what a concept! of course i am confident this has been tried and talked about, maybe even packaged up and sold for young pastors seeking revolution in their cities. these are all good motivations but one thing i know lacks in a lot of people is the willingness to DO anything about their motivation. i could read all the books in every christian bookstore and i still would not have made a dent in the kingdom. i would have gained insight and knowledge but is that what jesus has displayed in the word, to gain insight, and knowledge? this model i am speaking of has been in my mind for a while and the vision gets brighter and brighter. when it is in completion i will reveal it but it isn't anything new or huge outside of scripture. allyster reminded me of a scripture last night when we were at his small group in acts chapter 8 verse 3. it says saul began ravaging the church, entering house after house, and dragging off men AND women, he would put them into prison. i am not gonna say anymore after that cause i feel i have given away too much already for this idea, which again, is not the answer to the postmodern movement, but a vision the lord has been showing me in bits and pieces. i actually wanted to talk about belgium and show pics. but i know what god is showing me now i will operate in HERE and in anywhere else in the future.

this happened the moment we made it to kris' house. i know, i know you are NOT supposed to do this, but hey, come on,  i think we needed it, because of the week we were about to endure, in retrospect.

this was the wonderful facility's front side. the belly of this beast was not as appealing as the outer garments.

got stairs? we had our plenty. thats the floor, down there five flights. it was a great workout, EVERYDAY.

our room was quaint to say the least. as americans we brought the usual, his and hers ipods and an ipod touch for our movie entertainment on the "late night no sleep occasions." but we never expected there to be any kids on our level. but there were going to be so we were told to not hide our ipods but LOCK them up in someone's car, everyday. this meant getting them out and making sure one of us was getting them locked up and brought back to the room. needless to say it was an added task i wasn't expecting.

our workshop had the most people in it by far and i was not expecting to have a workshop in the first place but was very honored to share even though i needed a translator. this is the workshop where we were sharing on worship and the power that is in worship. nathan shared after i did, and jon shared after nathan, and it was just an awesome experience to share on something i love doing.

this was our house of prayer set up. our location was called the "holy lounge" and we had the place almost completely dark with the exception of a lot of candles in front of our location, as you can barely see here. it was great though cause it was mostly ambient worship. we played a song that i had written and arranged and was glad to have that ready. this idea is really new to the belgian youth but something i hope i can help contribute in developing over the coming years. 

this was the main stage and us worshiping with the gateways team. something i was glad to do as they played mostly songs i was familiar with. not that i didn't enjoy brian or the others but it is good to know the people you are playing with. this conference went all out with lights and smoke and a bunch of stuff.

this is me with the gateways team again, i think. its blurry cause of 2 reasons, one, the lighting, and two, i am moving so dang fast. no i wasn't doing much but i do come alive in worship if i feel the moment.

this other stuff here is just the life.

the front is the best

getting back to reality hardly is anything worth getting excited about. i found myself, however, waking early on sunday morning, on purpose, excited about going to church, excited about leading worship, excited about the word, and excited about doing what the lord has deposited in me these last few weeks. doing, and stop talking about doing. all of a sudden during the service my whole mentality changed and something switched that excitement in me to disappointment. i don't know what happened i just was completely turned off for some reason after about 2 songs into the service. i can't explain it, i don't want to try to explain it in too much detail. but what i really felt was a weighted burden on myself that i had not felt in a long time. a burden i needed to escape from, or get away from. i don't know how much sense it makes. let me think how i can compare it. i can't think of a really great example but my excitement was an idea of going back into reality with momentum and the "sky was the limit" mentality and then i felt as though i watched the momentum continue on as i stayed back to allow others to catch up to me. ok, maybe this will help...you're at some amusement park with your mates and you notice the ride everyone is eventually going to get on has almost no line for waiting. this prompts you to hurry into the line to make sure you reserve a spot early for the ride but your group seems to lag behind, talk to each other, wait and keep your attention from the opportunity that is up ahead that seems like an awesome deal. what are you to do? run ahead and risk not riding the ride with your friends? wait for your friends and then possibly risk the prime spot you would have in the cue? i don't know. i am not making any specific reference to my friends in general or necessarily about anyone i know personally. this was simply an analogy to describe my waking up on sunday morning and then the transitional feeling after 2 songs during the service. 

merci beaucoup

ok first, klm airlines are the greatest. anytime you get a chance to fly klm, or even if you have a choice and its close in price range...go with klm. most airlines will boast little tv's in the headrests. klm not only has the tv's in the headrests but they give you a library of choices to choose from for your viewing pleasure. i have been out of the loop in the theatre in the last year and a half so, of course, every movie available i had not seen. on the way to the eastern hemisphere i should have gotten sleep seeing as belgium is 7 hours ahead of our time but...i DONT sleep on planes period. even if i take an aid i still won't sleep and will be even more groggy when i land. fortunately klm's library was stocked with movies i had not seen. flying east i saw the love guru with mike meyers followed by jumper with the chosen one, hayden christensen and last but not least vantage point with jack from lost and dennis quaid. on the way back i enjoyed poseidon, prince caspian, 21, syriana. so plenty of entertainment to keep me busy whilst every one else was sleeping. except for liz, there was about an hour or so in the middle of the flight we battled in tetris. thats right, they have games, where you can battle others on the plane. i would have thought this would be pointless and boring, however on the way back if it hadn't been for my tetris skills, the terrorists who were going to hijack the plane would have followed through with there plan if i hadn't challenged them to a winner takes all match. needless to say there was a library of tv shows to watch as well but of course they were all stupid shows like 30 rock and sex in the city, or friends. they did have one episode of flight of the conchords and the office but episodes i had seen before. anyways klm has my vote for all my overseas flights. and funny thing...they handed out these brownies that made me real loopy, strange i know, but when i ate one i got hungrier and even a bit sleepy. i asked where they were made they said a quaint little coffee bar in the downtown district. apparently this little hotspot was famous for their brownies and americanos, i had never heard of them. 

now the important issue...belgium. well if liz and i had taken peanut on this trip it would have been disastrous, in my mind. the first location in carlsbourg, where the convention was held, was not the ideal location for a 10 month old child. i am gonna refer to jon, nathan, courtney, liz, and myself as the americans from here on out. well the americans were told their beds were on the 5th floor in the "b" corridor. this was originally sounding like it would be a great place for us. we were told there wouldn't be any disturbances from the other kids and that basically we would be all the way out of the way. good, sounds great, we thought. until we had to climb the stairwell that took us to the 5th floor in corridor "b." sheesh, even the days we didn't have to carry our luggage up the stairs was the most exhausting climb for me. well, we thought, lets get settled in and things will be ok. ummmmm, not true. our heater was broke so not only were we looking forward to climbing 5 floors of stairs we would need to wear 3 layers of clothing every night to survive the cold cell. well, we thought, the stairwell is bad, the no heating situation is bad but i had liz to snuggle with and nathan had court and jon and allyster had...extra blankets, so...problem solved. NOPE. we found out later on in the night our "b" sector was not occupied by only the americans, but by belgian, french and many other teens that we had never meant nor would in the coming days. so basically it was youth camp in a tall building in the middle of the winter for us. oh well we had fun and like des's blog says, we were able to get to know each other a little more on this trip. it was really fun, because every night jon, nathan, allyster, and i got to do a house of prayer room for the convention called the holy lounge. this wasn't the name we gave it but it was similar to a coffee bar inside the house of prayer during an intimate session. it was great because this had never really been observed by so many teens before and we were able to show them and teach them, in a workshop, about worship and what it is about and what it does. it was great. we played during the conference in front of 300-400 youth and most of the songs were all in french so playing with someone whom we had never met before was challenging to say the least. i could go on and will later but i know that statistically by now you have phased out of reading and are doing something else. i will blog again about the spiritual implications and such later on.

yea idiocracy!!!

i am trying to compile a list of the best movies that add to the idiocracy of american culture. please help in this pile of crap that has contributed. i know there are some movies, i.e. saving silverman, that certain individuals, i.e. my wife, who consider to be total crap. i however LOVE saving silverman and i think this one movie tops my list of "greatest movies that yet contribute to the idiocracy of american culture." so whether you believe that it is a bad idea to make a movie like this or not, doesn't matter. what are the best movies, in your mind that are funny to you, that contribute to this list?

i'm ready glory hallelujah

so right, this week i leave for belgium. i am so excited to be going. one reason i am extremely excited is because my wife is able to join me. i have taken quite a few trips but the best one's and the one's i receive spiritual and marriage strengthening are the one's where liz gets to be by my side. peanut is not going with us because of the money factor. i personally don't see this trip a trip he would be able to handle anyway. i know liz will miss him, i will miss him too, but i have been away from dutch for extended periods of time before this trip so it's not a "first time away" feeling. besides, there is a bond a mother has with her child that no one could understand but a mother. the second reason i am excited is because of the location. when i ventured to brussels last feb. with jon v. and nathan there was an amazing impression the lord left on my heart for a specific move he wanted to do in europe as a whole. this move influences what i know is liz and my calling to ukraine. but the steps are in order and the way things will work is one step at a time. with that said this trip is furthering my understanding of the things god wants to do in europe and beyond. this trip is also viable to the strengthening of the vision god has placed inside my heart for discipleship. in some form, or capacity i will be an executor of an establishment thats primary focus will be bringing individuals from point 'a' to point 'b.' this is code for a maturation process in people. within the last few weeks i have dug up old dreams of kids and my calling with those young one's who have not yet reached adolescence. this is stirring in me once again and i know belgium plays a role in this. for now, however, live the life, get the education i need in counseling, and walk away with tools and resources that will enable to me to bare the load of fulfilling a calling i and others will be able to mark on my tombstone as revolutionary. all this is pending of course on the return of christ.

i need some peppermint tea NOW!!!!

this morning had to be the worst morning of my existence. nothing is worse than the feeling i had that woke me up around 615am. i will not go into detail, so if you are really curious as to my experience i will gladly tell you just not on this public forum. however, i will include the feelings i experienced...dizziness, extreme light headiness, and complete and utter out of control movements. that is all, i am at liberty to share, sparing my reputation as a clean, wholesome, and pure linguist and keeping my dignity. contact me through email or another form of communication if you want my dignity to be thrown out with yesterdays garbage.

with purity comes favor

i always have the greatest feeling when i leave my parents house after a night of food and fellowship. when i am able to have my wife and kid at the dinner table with my parents and sister, i can't help but gain a better grasp of the favor of the lord in my life. in life one can always say that "it's a certain way because of the people you know and the choices you have made," so by that logic, knowing my past and any proposed idea i had i am glad the doors to those opportunities where shut. i play the "what if" game in my life now but i would hate to play it and find out for real, when i consider where i could have ended up today. so many things would be gone, including but not limited to the cutest little boy in the world. this leads me to think that if anyone wants a seem less flow with just, and righteous consequence they should choose purity over selfishness every time. thats easy to say in principle, but put to the test one finds it difficult to get past the "heat of the moment" pleasure, which is only for a season. think back in life about all the golden opportunities. once, twice maybe more it may seem that a path to fulfillment and favor would have been yours for the taking. but i guarantee you this, the favor you so seek comes with a faith you are, in many cases, unwilling to give. "i want it now!" this is a desire we may all posses at times but only the immature and childish are fooled by the facade of treasure it brings. and this treasure, to the mature and righteous man or woman, is the trash they so easily dispose. increase the faith, increase the favor. its an equation that has baffled the ancient philosophers. faith comes by hearing the word and that word is meant to wash you clean. when i walk out of the door of my parents house, get into my car, and drive back home the favor of the lord is like a log on the fire of confidence in my life that i am walking in purity. i regret only this...that i haven't made these faithful decisions sooner.

giv'er time

i had a thought yesterday about the earth and those who inhabit the geographical areas with the most resources. i was able to put my thought together because of a fellow blogger in the san fran area. i don't know her, have never met her but i was doing research and found her blog to be interesting, its entitled, inspiring gifts that transform, and in it talked a little about an individual who is transforming philanthropy. the guy who she was talking about wasn't the draw but the words this lady wrote about how the worlds geographical areas of the greatest amount of resources are inhabited by the poorest individuals. that is so fascinating because it doesn't seem like it would be that way, with all the many who are the greediest people in the world. now, i imagine that those who want those resources get those resources without having to occupy the land. but to me it goes deeper than that. i think its amazing the most populated countries are also in the running for poorest too. except for one, the united states of america. it goes like this:

china - 1,313,973,713

india - 1,095,351,995

united states - 300,176,035

indonesia - 245,452,739

brazil - 188,078,227

pakistan - 165,803,560

that is amazing to me. this isn't one of those heavy blogs at all, but i am very curious as to how the united states has managed to maintain its populous and yet still remain wealthy, well if you discount the national debt, we are wealthy. i guess you can credit the fact that we are younger than 4 of those nations. that has always been my thinking...give america time, we will see what she will look like in a few more centuries.

is that it...nah

i wonder what the innate gene is that individuals get which enables them to enjoy risks. i am not a risk taker. i actually enjoy the comfort level way more than than turning the heat up. i guess this is the reason i do not play the economy game of stocks and bonds. for some reason its more than that though. i do not get motivated to be more or do something better. there is not one particular thing on this earth that could drive me to be a greater success. actually, i almost go the opposite way. i would rather not try, many times knowing that the risk is not even a risk at all, than get away from what i  know to be true in my immediate circumstance. what can i do to get comfortable? this reflection comes from my current situation, but primarily from what i can account for retrospectively over a lifetime. i am not sure at all what keeps me from desiring a great thing, or a great chance. the lord? maybe. its hard to say cause even though i have such a huge burden for a genuine culture to embrace discipleship, it is apparent, this burden is not great enough for me to stand in the midst of opposition. i am not wavering on what i know i am called to do. i am just disappointed at how long it is taking for it to happen. liz and i laid in bed talking this over, she really helped me. i was telling her how i don't carry a drive to accomplish the best or the greatest possible. for example, cause i feel this lacks illustration, david lancashire, the guy who i currently work for, is not comfortable with his current position. he has to be using his skills as an entrepreneur again and again. he sold his company that he started last summer and is now in the midst of doing more projects. it certainly isn't money that drives him, well, i can't say that for sure. david has a drive i admire and wish i had. he is just not satisfied. i use him as an example not for exposure to any flaws he has, cause you and i both have just as many, but to reveal a very great quality to admire about anyone. i know there are many, i know personally, who have this ability to be driven to success and i wonder what it is that allows them to be so great at it. i think about the reasons i don't, or am not motivated to go higher and be greater. one reason i know is one that many deal with and many can overcome, this is the resistance of being a failure. i suffer from it. no matter how many accomplishments one can point to my life and say, "look here, and look here, you have been motivated to take risk," it's all hindsight, isn't it? you tell me then that it would look the way it does now and i would have no problem with being driven to that level of success cause i would know the end product. but failure is a huge issue. another contributor to my lack of motivation to be a success is i wonder if people are thinking, "i could do it so much better than that." even when i was told that liz and i could do lifewalk i already made up my mind that no matter what i do there are gonna be so many who analyze and think, "wow, i would have done that way differently." i didn't want to, and still don't, be at odds with anyone, wanting everyone to be satisfied with whatever i put my hands to. i need counseling i know. but i am not gonna try and excuse myself. part of it is not my fault. but most if it is. i wish i had the guts sometimes to stand up to people i feel have wronged me and state my emotional condition. lord knows i could do it reasonably and righteously. but again, this is where i lack the drive to be something else. a people pleaser. and even when i would meet with josh or nathan my stance was, unconsciously, to come off stronger on certain issues. maybe i did that to make up for the softer, none driven, unmotivated personality that was my actual self, i don't know. but whatever the case, i am not satisfied, obviously, and wish i could hit that "jackpot button" that everyone keeps talking about, in my life, but fails to payout. 

look out below

sheesh...look at the markets. the dow, how about it dropping 3000 points in less than 2 weeks? i am on the outside looking in thinking 2 things:

1. is this a time for me to be excited, get educated, and look at buying stock in order to seek a long term payout? i am interested, i really am. but the whole idea of the stock market is similar to that of the roulette table. you find a company (number) you like put your money (chips) into it and let the market (wheel) play itself out, in a chance that you will gain more capital for something else. the key is, as in any gambling scenario, when do you stop? the thrill, i will admit, is a feeling that gives you an adrenaline rush you can't get from anything else. especially one who holds high convictions when it comes to drugs and alcohol. i can't say i am one of those thrill seekers, or daredevils. i am not the guy who goes to the top of the mountain, even though i am an ok skier. i don't seek a great, quick challenge. not because i don't want a challenge but because i prefer slower momentum, which inevitably will get me at the speed i am comfortable at going. i am thinking the stock market is not for me. but tomorrow who knows, the dow could jump right up to 10,000 points just as quickly as it dropped to below...well, 8300 right now. but it sounds and looks like so much fun, despite what the sources are saying.

2. as an outsider i tend to enjoy, a little bit, not a lot, people suffering financially who know better. that may sound sick but let me put it in perspective. one morning, when i used to work at the chickfila in the irving mall, we had a store meeting at the chickfila unit on beltline next to the bally's fitness. it was on a sunday afternoon...yeah, yeah I know chickfila making me work on sunday ridiculous right? well people driving by saw the cars parked outside the unit thinking, "wow, chickfila must have did away with the policy they have been enforcing for over 20 years today, and opened on sunday." people would precede to drive thru the drive thru only to find out there is no one on the other side receiving there order. this ability to reject, for some strange reason, made me feel so good. i don't know why. but when those people who were so excited or maybe a little thrilled to sink their teeth into a warm crispy nugget were turned down because of a policy well established for 20 years, i got a little evil, mr. burns"ish," feeling enjoying their misery and dissatisfied opportunity. that is evil. my point is people who are living the lush, extravagant, lifestyle where they can wipe their butts with the money i would need to scrape together to fill my gas tank, in my opinion get the downfall they deserve. that is cruel for anyone i know, whether you make 200k or 2k a year. but what seems to be happening is that those who are losing so much are cringing at the close everyday of the markets, i have good sample research, granted its only 2 individuals. i hear the chatter non-stop, especially last week, "it dropped below 9500!" me on the other hand, i hear the reports that it is a dire situation for our economy, but for some reason "i choose not to care." i have never worried nor feared it before. why should anyone? the market stands to balance itself, right? either you take advantage and sell at a high opportunity like a few months ago or wait it out another 6-7 years, so they say.

me, i am convinced that the biggest drivers, or stressors of the market are greed, and fear. surprisingly enough, those are the two that drive one to take risks. my conclusion on getting stock...

i don't know yet 

done and gone

i did it, i cut this mop and i have to say despite how wonderful my stylist is, it is not her fault. i dislike it though. it clearly is different, well, it is to me anyway. i am used to flowing locks of 70's rock n roll rage, now...i am a more 50's pop culture icon. none the less, it feels different, which is always good. anyone who says they don't like change, watch out for them cause they are obviously not right in the head. why, you ask...cause that is just how life is, changing all the time. there is not one culture on this planet that stays constant. even the freaking universe is moving and changing. what makes that one individual think they are so special to escape change. maybe i am mad cause i can't avoid it...nah, thats not it. change is coming cause comfort is destructive. thats a quote you can quote me on. 

before:

after:

notice the change, and even the computer inputs it as bad change cause of the black and white effect. i am not used to it, thats the problem. i can deal with it. plus, i am one of those individuals who hates the "salon shampoo" cause they completely strip your hair of the rock n roll oils. the salon washes once, maybe twice, and my hair, when loads of shampoo are used will fluff up real big. i hate this look with a passion. again, let me re-iterate it is not jen's fault she is an amazing hair stylist who knows how to take the idea and put it on the head. i wouldn't go to her if i didn't appreciate her style. i have been going for a long time to her place, in fact, i was originally against the big money hair cut but she cuts me such an amazing deal that i couldn't refuse the offer. so if you see me and think to yourself, "what is he trying to accomplish with his life looking like that," believe me i am thinking the same thing. but, talk to me in a few weeks, my confidence and bank account will send a different message! 

what should i do

what's up america? i wanted to take this moment and announce that i have a hair appointment on wednesday morning. i am taking suggestions as to what my style should look like. the forum is totally open and i will not get my feelings hurt on any suggestions. this is a serious request and i realize that my friends are not all of the serious nature, however i would appreciate honest suggestions. in your comments i would appreciate a suggestion with a photo of the example if you can find one.

hold onto that ball romo

the cowboys are starting to worry me a little observing these last two games. last week was just embarrassing even though the redskins are, supposedly, a good team. they beat the eagles this weekend but the eagles suck anyway. thats right philly you suck. what's troubling me the most is romo and his performance during the middle section of the games. 2nd quarter and early third he seems to drop off a little. granted he had an impressive drive late in the 4th quarter despite the fumbles and surprise on-side kick. still the ben"gals" are a team we should have "made our woman." our defense held us in this game and kept it from being an embarrassment. oh how awful would that have been to wake up on monday with another loss to the ben"gals!" oh man that would been devastating. i am not sure how long our defense can hold, however, cause injury after injury will keep our core secondary out of the game. except for roy, you can keep him out of the game. until our run defense begins to suffer, which is looking like now. next week the cardinal from arizona. no worries here...hopefully! 

biden, palin, what debate?

after watching the vice presidential debate, and hearing the remarks of political experts the day after, it's safe to say that sen. joe biden, and gov. sarah palin are both debators. big shock huh? i was a little nervous for mrs. palin who is, in my opinion, an outsider, a woman, and kinda out of the immediate loop when it comes to capital hill politics. she, however, did very well for herself. i think that is what you can walk away from the broadcast, was her ability to raise the professional bar. did she improve mccain's chances? maybe, maybe not. but overall she did better than what people expected. biden did as was expected. i would imagine the vice presidential debates are a bit tougher than actual presidential debates because in a sense you are defending your stance and the stance of your superior, the possible future president. mrs. palin's performance i feel is more detrimental to mccain's chances. people are watching her far more closely than biden. the feeling i got before hand was that she would not be able to rebuttal the facts quick enough, there would be too much political information, and she would hound the mic with verbal fillers. both debater's , biden and palin, spouted fallacies. but palin stood her ground and appealed to her base very well. but there in lies the problem. this election has so much middle ground, so many who are riding between the candidates on many issues, and are not completely satisfied in narrowing down who is the lesser of the two evils or who is the greatest of the two frontrunners. i don't see how either of them, gained the middle american's vote. it is more important for the mccain/palin candidacy then it is for the obama/biden, because of the recent polls heralding obama with a slightly higher percentage than mccain at this stage. but who knows what could happen. i didn't like some of things that both of the debaters did. one was, on many occasions, they did not answer the questions posed and kept going back to what the previous remark was made by the opponent. i think actually that may fall on the moderator more than the candidates. so the moderator was not good at maintaining control of the debate. the moderator should hold the candidates answers to what the question is and if the answer strays from the question posed not allow a rebuttal from the opponent, and like a court of law ask that the previously viewed evidence to be thrown out. i know, i know thats a little to ridiculous but i wish the role of politician would be left at the limo door. and who in the world is going to be able to remember all of what obama voted for or against and what mccain voted for or against, not me. so all in all my deduction is that in about 2 weeks this debate will be forgotten, maybe even before next tuesdays debate.

 

none the less i stop down

from time to time, on tv, there is a movie that must be watched. not because it is substantially great or anything but because i just can't pass it up. for some reason it grabs me and it won't let go til the credits roll. i, as best i could, put together the top ten list of movies that are, in no particular order:

zach's top ten stop down movies on tv:

1) the truman show 

for some reason i stop down to watch this movie every time. tbs, tnt, you name the network i will watch it. i dislike the the commercial interruptions however. jim carrey is great, in my opinion, in this role. its one of those serious/comedic roles of his that doesn't go over board. you know those roles of robin williams where he takes that personality of his overboard. this character of robin williams, in every movie by the way, has ruined his acting ability for me.

2) kindergarten cop

i don't know why! i really don't. arnold is one of the worst actors in hollywood. for some strange reason this movie gets me. especially the kid who is obsessed with tumors, and the kid obsessed with the difference between boys and girls, and...well all the little kids are great. you may not like this movie but i stop down every time its on.

3) last of the mohicans

i don't care who you are and what you do this movie is for you. nothing is more interesting than the colonial/indian/revolutionary time period. i think daniel day lewis is one of the greatest actors to walk the planet 

4) home alone

both of 'em i don't care which one is on 1 or 2. i hate, i said i hate number 3. home alone 3 is no relative of 1 or 2. these movies are when culkin was sort of sane, i guess. but you can't top the one liners in these movies. 

"look whatcha did ya little jerk!" 

"kevin, i am going to feed you to my tarantula." 

"kevin, you're what the french call les incompetents." 

"i made my family disappear"

all great quotes and memorable lines for years to come. 

5) bottle rocket

i think this is an automatic stop down for all who claim to be texan. owen, luke and james caan make this movie what it is. my favorite scene is when bob's brother confronts mr. henry and his gang of "outlaws" at the country club. "how many bullets does this thing take?" "bob, put the gun down!" "why, dignan, i bought it!" great movie, go rent it of you have never seen it. it also has a scene in a local g.p. store right across from the brass bean.

6) anchorman

this movie was built on the "one-liners." this movie is full of great scenes with any one liners such as:

brian: i think i was in love once

ron: what was her name?

brian: i don't remember

ron: that is not a good start but keep going

"there was a time before cable when everyone believed everything they heard on tv"

7) austin powers 

international man of mystery and the spy who shagged me are the best ones. the third one boasts greatness but alas i wasn't as intrigued by the genius of the third time around. again, this movie carries so many one liners you can't contain yourself. i think the snl talent goes on to stardom because of one liners. there is no big surprise there.

8) braveheart

its long, i have seen it hundreds of time, but still when it appears in the guide i can't look away. it warrants my attention every time. the fighting, the love, the redemption, the politics, and the betrayal, its like the bible in a movie, which is not a bad idea by the way. mel has his issues, and say what you want about him; he is a tremendous entertainer.

9) the edge

this is one of sir anthony hopkins' best, especially because it is one of those outdoorsy survival movies. he plays this billionaire who goes with his young hot wife to a photo shoot in alaska's backyard. his plane goes down and he is left to remember all the things he read about in a survival book he got fatefully a few weeks earlier.  

10) waterworld

i know, i know, most herald this flick as good as watching leaves blow in the wind. for some strange reason i am intrigued by the idea of the movie and not necessarily the acting. if you can watch this movie with the mindset of the polar ice caps actually melting and covering the earth over you will see it differently, i think. 

all these movies intrigue me and they are not the best on my list but rather the ones i stop down to watch anytime they are on, especially if there is nothing else on. but don't think i have excluded better movies. i just had these on the top of my mind in the last few hours.