Monday, November 3, 2008

the front is the best

getting back to reality hardly is anything worth getting excited about. i found myself, however, waking early on sunday morning, on purpose, excited about going to church, excited about leading worship, excited about the word, and excited about doing what the lord has deposited in me these last few weeks. doing, and stop talking about doing. all of a sudden during the service my whole mentality changed and something switched that excitement in me to disappointment. i don't know what happened i just was completely turned off for some reason after about 2 songs into the service. i can't explain it, i don't want to try to explain it in too much detail. but what i really felt was a weighted burden on myself that i had not felt in a long time. a burden i needed to escape from, or get away from. i don't know how much sense it makes. let me think how i can compare it. i can't think of a really great example but my excitement was an idea of going back into reality with momentum and the "sky was the limit" mentality and then i felt as though i watched the momentum continue on as i stayed back to allow others to catch up to me. ok, maybe this will're at some amusement park with your mates and you notice the ride everyone is eventually going to get on has almost no line for waiting. this prompts you to hurry into the line to make sure you reserve a spot early for the ride but your group seems to lag behind, talk to each other, wait and keep your attention from the opportunity that is up ahead that seems like an awesome deal. what are you to do? run ahead and risk not riding the ride with your friends? wait for your friends and then possibly risk the prime spot you would have in the cue? i don't know. i am not making any specific reference to my friends in general or necessarily about anyone i know personally. this was simply an analogy to describe my waking up on sunday morning and then the transitional feeling after 2 songs during the service. 


Brad Shull said...

At least you got to 2 songs. I feel that way right when I get out of Bed on Sunday Morning.

I think I will be better once the Election is over, but if not it might be time for the Shull family to leave the Grove.

Sometimes you just have to Listen and obey.

racheljenae said...

well...sometimes it's just those days...and like you said,,, you don't want to over analyze...cause i can majorly do that... and I just love that you can be honest and say that's how you felt...cause most people wouldn't. I think its the difference between expectation (which is great) and then the you said, that you have to pull others along with you, that aren't to that place yet. And I guess my only solution is kind of what Matthias talked about when he was here...which has helped me shift my thinking... but I think of Sundays as outreach! We just glorify God in it all and create an atmostphere where He's welcome to move and have His way...whether the service goes the way we want it to or not. Cause more important than the deep Christians going deeper is lost souls being saved!