Tuesday, September 30, 2008

we now see its end

i normally wouldn't care a whole lot about what lawmakers would say about anything. i vote for them to do their job and take care of business like i pay kacy to clean my bathroom twice a month. this recent news of the bailout has caught my eye. i have already blogged about it in recent posts. i am wishing i could grab the mic and share my concerns, but alas, i vote for my lawmakers to do that for me right? i am glad in a way this bailout has not gone through.

1.) i truly believe that the bush administration has not spent money wisely, whether you contribute that to certain variables or not it has been the case this last 8 years with him in office. i think part of it is he is just not liked so going into the white house he has that against him already. the clinton administration had passed a surplus of around $559 billion to the bush administration for the years he had been in office, or as michael scott would put it the orifice. however, in light of his budget he really didn't spend money like the bush administration did. 
regardless of the spending miss nancy pelosi, you as a representative of an elected office, have the ability to bring checks and balances to the current administrations budget plan by speaking against it, as you have rightly exercised. do not throw the bush administration under the bus when you could convince your party to vote down any proposed spending by the opposing party's commander and chief, miss speaker of the house! 

2.) in light of all the issues i see, which is limited based on my education, i feel as though no matter what is done the "main street" citizen will suffer. bailout these fat cats and they gently float to the ground in their golden parachutes, as the people finish out these executives memberships at their respected country clubs for the rest of their life; reject the proposal and we all suffer in recession, or so everyone says. i am thinking if anyone is gonna go down, let it be everyone. the rich will fall far, the poor will have to get up that much earlier to ensure they get a good public transportation seat on the next bus. so in the end i would want everyone going down with the boat. that sounds more fair than the american public biting the bullet for the next 10-20 years while all these executives keep their fridge's stocked with caviar and their garages full of jag's.

3.) there still might be hope. i got this article from a friend that stated something to the idea of the government instead of giving money to the executives on wall street, should give it to americans to eliminate their mortgage debt. this idea would be amazing, in so many ways. 
also in semi related news,
i am loving the idea of applicants needing a higher credit score in order to get a loan. today what i am seeing is loans going out to people in whom the company is fully aware that this individual will not pay it back. this has to change. read this article concerning this issue. thank you whoever for stepping in and making the credit score valuable again, sheesh. this is ultimately why i think america should bite the bullet. we have made an everything goes economy, in my opinion. anyone can get a loan, even if they don't pay it back, anyone is approved for a mortgage, even if they don't make enough to pay it. this has to stop somewhere, and i am thinking we now see its end.

i want also to address something that may be important to the average church going american. we deem certain issues as very, very, important:
  • environment
  • abortion
  • cloning
  • healthcare
  • homosexuality (same sex marriage)
  • atheism
  • etc
however this is important cause why? we grew up with these issues preached from our pulpits, that it is important. please, don't check out on this yet. i hate abortion like god hates it. for example, many americans that have not grown up in our circle do not share the opinion we share about abortion.

according to abortion.org:

-white women make up 60% of the abortions in america this however, is well below the african america level. african american women are more than 3 times as likely to have abortion and hispanic women are more than 2 times as likely to have one.
-52% of women in america who are having abortions are younger than 25.
-64% of abortions are on unmarried women.

reasoning for abortions range from rape to just inconvenience of the child. whatever the case, the government is not getting it done with abortions. does that mean stop voting for these individuals who are pro-life, no. but, when it comes to abortion and politics lets take the perspective of those who are more likely to have one anyway. those individuals are not gonna vote for what they don't believe in. and i am for sure government is not gonna change ours or their opinion, like bush cannot convince an atheist there is a god. god is gonna have to convince them. the stance i feel is...we must stop relying on government to make a move on this issue. i wanna be able to voice my opinion on this. voting for mccain because he is pro-life is not a good idea just like voting for obama because he is black is a good idea. the stance the church needs to take is one that stops backing an individual because of a few moral agreements and starts looking at what this or that politician could do for the betterment of the whole u.s. of a. i may be asking a few to be too liberal in their thinking. i think programs that lou engle has in place are key and more effective than one individual trying to make a difference by voting based on that one conviction they might have with them in the booth. look at the whole picture and don't narrow your perspective because the candidate does or doesn't agree with that specific conviction. let me ask you this? what are you doing besides voting to change and reverse the roe vs. wade decision? the philosophy of mr. engle has hit it dead on the head. he is, in my opinion one who could make a difference because of his leadership example. i bet he votes for mccain, and i don't have a problem with that, i will too more than likely. 

but not because mccain is pro-life

Friday, September 26, 2008

isn't that the ultimate

i am a little confused at what i should be doing right now. i feel the rug has been yanked out from underneath me. i was on a track, so it seemed, to a place of fulfillment and satisfaction, only to find myself searching now for the track that takes the next train to the closest stop at highland park village. there is such a fine line between wanting to be honest and complaining. i am not wanting to be a complainer but sometimes voicing a concern out of honest introspection seems the only reasonable, viable, option even though it shares the same vocal inflection of complaining. i don't, thinking back, believe i am a complainer, ordinarily. maybe that is a part of me that is hidden from my view and is evident to everyone else. i found myself collapsing in the shower last night under the mental pressure of the state i am in right now. do i pretend to have the heaviest baggage? no absolutely not! time to time, however, i wonder if i can carry a lighter load. i am not questioning the goodness of god, that is not what this is about. at times like this i think questioning my commitment to him is more appropriate. sorta like, is this, what i am experiencing, a product or a reaping of what i have been, for a while, sowing? maybe, i am not qualified to make this call. i don't think anyone but god is really but i notice in my life i project the causes of, or responses to something miserable, or horrible on my actions, thoughts, or words. in research that i have done this really isn't a fault of the individual but rather those the individual listens to in times of prosperity. being around a vast population of six figured incomes i am trying to put together as to how the load for me could be lighter. business men, or "whatever men," meeting together to discuss current politics, market, and other high class society issues whilst having a place of comfort where their wive or mistress can relax and not carry stressful loads that would otherwise wake them up in the early hours of the morning seems like the life to lead. the life i want to lead. the latter part anyway about a wife with no constrictions on her that are not meant for her to bare. i have been dreaming of this a long time. long before i ever set foot in the highland park village starbucks. this is the defense i have set in place for the issue of greed. it isn't greed for me, or liz. i know this because we both were prepared mentally, physically, and emotionally to go bare bones on our income for the sake of making lifewalk a success. sell the house, car, kid, arms, legs whatever to make a place suitable for satisfaction. the proverb, "the Lord causes rain to fall on the righteous and unrighteous" seems appropriate, but WHERE'S MY FREAKING RAIN?!?!? this proverb has no bar or limitations on what i am doin! lord help me! righteous or unrighteous it makes no difference there is an abundance. ah...but maybe the proverbs intent is to shed light on what is really of importance? what my needs are? what my needs aren't? is this the same thing? i am really feeling for those who have walked, been faithful, and for the longest time have been unfulfilled, or they have settled and lowered the bar of fulfillment to an inappropriate level. i guess that is my concern. i strongly feel, or did feel, the lord had this for me but since things changed i can see where those dreams, visions, and ideas become less important and drowned out by flashier necessities of my personal life. 

maybe that is the true test.

Monday, September 22, 2008

you said it dad

i am getting the idea the american economy is suffering. does anyone get that feeling? housing, mortgages, gas, and the exchange rate and these are just the immediate issues concerning my personal pocketbook. i am wondering whether credit and good economy are two words that should not be included in the same sentence. like you don't want the phrase, "god was angry," and your name in the same verse. credit in my opinion is like the fast food restaurant industry, at first, it seems like it would satisfy. but the more you eat this food the more you see changes in your physical body, for the worse. do i indulge occasionally on a jr. bacon cheeseburger from wendy's? sure i do! but this habitual eating would keep me from sitting behind this table in the brass bean and type this blog without reservation. eventually it will catch up to you. my dad is in the process of getting a financial makeover. he is going on "the biggest loser," in his mind, concerning his debt. i couldn't be more proud of him at this point. he has been going since last feb. and has been sticking to a, in my mind, scary budget. but the more i hear from him and his "physical," financial trainer dave ramsey ideas, i am beginning to take his advice and apply accordingly. there is a great movie out called maxed out which takes you on a great journey through the american economy and its credit issues. what is the national deficit, like 9.6 trillion and climbing. that is $47,000 per adult. sheesh!
the new bailout proposal by the present white house campaign would, as they see it, help economically. i see it as furthering the philosophy of debt and the issues that surround it. i surprisingly, side with a more liberal mindset on this issue. the main things i am concerned about is those top executives that are involved in the bailout are also benefitting from the governmental purchase and walking away with millions, AND taxpayers money through the process. this upsets me. i put the blame on the whole credit issue. do i take responsibility for my idiot purchases? yes i do, as should all those involved with this bailout. if your out there and reading, debt = bad. anyone can get a loan, everyone has the ability to borrow some amount of money. don't do it!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

doctor, i am the one who is presently suffering

the more i read about all these different dysfunctions, abnormal behavior patterns, and pathological issues, the more i can't help but wonder what the medically trained professional does to contribute instead of relieve the issue. on and on about another symptom which may or may not contribute to an abnormality. i certainly have no doctorate in the medicinal field, however, i know that it is a BUSINESS. this is an excerpt from a book i am reading called, psychopharmacology handbook for the non-medically trained, " it has no agenda other than educating the non-medically trained. "prescribers are typically befriended by the drug company's representatives and given free services or rewards for prescribing the medication. unfortunately, this alliance between the drug companies and the prescribers can determine the prescriptions that are written, rather than the condition of consumers." this is one concern of mine relating to the frustration i have. never the less, i can do nothing about this because it is a practice far to long in place. however, there is another aspect of this issue i could do something about. in further research i am seeing more and more the replacement of ownership with an excuse to be a product or fruit of the side effect of a sinful nature. one example might be, ummmm...a parent who instead of being an influence into their child's life are further encouraging behavior associated with ad/hd because they would rather, deep down inside, be irresponsible than change a significant problem that might lead to further dysfunction. this sound harsh? it is, i know. i will now calm down. but lets look at the situation. we (humans) have now been able to diagnose every which disorder that might contribute to dysfunctional/abnormal behavior. i mean one slight change in symptoms can move one suffering from as (asperger's syndrome) to one who is diagnosed with hfa (high functioning autism). i am not suggesting that people predisposed to this syndrome are a result of cognitive factors or are suffering as a result to parental negligence. actually, looking at the statistical research on these mentioned syndrome's, one cannot determine the cause but can only attribute to possible factors that are noticed in each diagnoses. i may have been alluding to the wrong syndrome/dysfunction. this may be because i am in the process of reading and researching as at the moment. my complaint is more on the thousands of diagnoses of alleged abnormal behavior and then the immediate prescription of a pill to cure it or remove possible symptoms. case and point, a child who has been diagnosed with ad/hd in latter years may have developed it through the behavior learned through observation of the family. and the family instead of rectifying the issue, which is their observed behavior, have chosen to live with the conditional diagnosis further encouraging the behavior. "oh, he/she has ad/hd that is the reason he/she acts that way, it must be time to give him his/her medication." stop! wait a second! ahhhhhhhhh! i wish i could reasonably and logically argue my case i see in this circle of idiocy. i suffer from the correct terminology.  

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

what's the deal with airplane food?

with all that is going on, preston, my job situation, school, i think its best that i say up front that this week has been the busiest i have ever had in years. i have am working for the man who paid my salary this last year. i am in the process of researching companies and finding the best opportunity for him to invest into. he desires to purchase a franchise and i have been put in charge of research. so if anyone out there has some pointers then it would be great for you to share them now. i have never worked inside the "corporate world" so i guess, to say the least, it is a learning experience. i want the best for my wife and if i had it my way things would already be different for her. we had a plan initially in place to do lifewalk in jan. and she would put a lot of time and effort into making that happen. she was so excited, and i was too for her because it seemed as though it would remove her from the corporate america job she had been involved with the last almost decade of her life. but with changes it seems as though we are back at square one with getting her into a place of fulfillment and even more so trying to find where i am going to get fulfillment out of all this.

because of what happened with preston i have been asked to speak in 1829. i have already had a rough week with this new role so i had an idea of where i wanted to go on my scheduled speaking time in 2 weeks. nathan was supposed to speak tonight but because of the whole thing i am now speaking. this morning i was thinking how drastically my work environment changed in the last week. i was thinking how easy it was to get into a place to hear from the lord on what i should speak on in 3 weeks. now it seems as though the challenge will be greater. i do anticipate this first month, or so, to be very hectic for me but after that there should be a groove i fit into. back to the real world it seems and scary it is. there is so much i wanna say but can't at this moment due to what could change.

this all may seem flustering coming out because it is just that in my head, flustering. but i am still zach lowrie, and i still have a passion to disciple even though my target group is not seen as much as i would like to see them.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

what if i am not relying on him right

i have had quite a roller coaster of direction in the last 7 days. what do i think about this or that? is god testing me here? is god showing me something else? man i am sure everyone has walked through that. liz and i are in a position where we need to free up some space financially in order to prepare for our future. we want more breathing room. but i wonder if by me trying to do one thing in order to do something later is not fulfilling what scripture is telling me to do. "submit your ways unto the lord, and he will direct your path." my way was to do this and that. i guess that is what i am learning. this new position isn't anything what i would think could offer me fulfillment. this morning i was preparing to rehearse with steven parra for his songs, and i was in the sanctuary just sitting there quiet. i was loving it. my mind just kept thinking about how good god is. and i thought, "of course, not worry and trust him." but what if i am not trusting him right, what if i am missing what he has put in front of me?" ahhhh! just serve him how i know how and things will be taken care of. liz and i had shabbat over at the smiths (anthony and tracy). that family is so inspiring. great group of people to be around. i had never been before to their house, yet, i had heard so many awesome things from everyone who had been over there. they spoke some amazing truth into our lives. before we knew it the clock had struck midnight and both of us were so tired. but liz and i have heard the lord for what we thought would be for this jan in lifewalk but maybe things aren't for this jan. but no doubt that lord spoke some vision into liz and i concerning this next generation and how they can sustain a revival they will see from the hand of the lord. wait for it, wait for it.


Wednesday, September 10, 2008

nice, it's really nice

i have never been to this little grand prairie establishment off main called "the brass bean." i know elizabeth dunn works here. it's nice, i would put more comfortable chairs in here but for the most part i am glad i came this morning. i needed to get some reading done. my house is out of the question (peanut), and i wanted some wifi, so i figured i would check it out. i like to people watch, so during lunch, like right now, this place is full of grand prairians. not the normal people i would watch though. never the less i think coming here will happen again. you should check it out too if you can and live near. i could've gone to the office but i don't get much work accomplished there. why? i don't know but it just doesn't seem productive. well i gotta run because i am in a booth and it is getting packed i here. it's just me so i don't want to be rude and take up a whole booth for just me.


Tuesday, September 9, 2008

ok, ok, ok

lets just make sure we have our ducks in a row. i heard that senator obama had admitted to being of the muslim faith. i watched the obama clip. the one where he says "his muslim faith." in context, he was not saying he is a muslim or has a muslim faith. he was stating that mccain has not attacked him with having connections or ties to any faith. i am not admitting to supporting obama or what he stands for but i think it is reasonable to be fair to candidates on both tickets. 

i had watched the interview with rick warren as well.

again, i am not a supporter of obama, but lets imagine for a second that whatever the issue is on hand that you are a die hard liberal thinker. lets imagine now for a second that the issue in discussion is abortion. now, without going any further, any die hard liberal minded thinker is gonna answer what? "pro-choice." now lets put that same person, who is trying to win the hearts of the american people for the prize of a presidential seat, in a conservative forum and talk about a conservative issue, i.e. abortion. rick knows where obama stands on abortion, as do all those who think liberally and conservatively. what obama was trying to do as he, stumbled over his answer, was get people to see the moral issue behind abortion. is it bad, yes! is it something i wish was never even thought of, of course! i hate abortion, and i know god does too, but the issue of abortion is not gonna be solved through the presidential seat, in my opinion. the powers that congress have are just as important as the presidential seat. our founding fathers set it up that way in order to make sure that the checks and balances are in order. the only reason obama is taking so much heat is because he is one man in the seat of influence, as opposed to congress which has 540 elected officials. obama did stumble around with his answer. but imagine yourself in his shoes under the circumstances he was in at that time. i think it actually is very brave for a liberal presidential prospect to enter that situation at all. as far as abortion is concerned i am pro-life. i think the baby has rights at conception, but obama doesn't and his view is that it should be left up to the state, he continues to state, it's a moral issue. anyone who watched that forum, and thought obama was gonna say anything about pro-life, is an idiot. his official website says what he is. the only reason he stumbled was because of the audience and he wanted to make it apparent he is not an unreasonable, baby killer as so many call people who are pro-choice. i really think mccain is what he says he is and obama what he says he is. mccain came out and said what he is...pro-life, or a baby has rights at conception. i wish the earth's problems were solved in the presidency. but there not. keep praying for righteous government.

Monday, September 8, 2008


great cowboys win right? gotta love the atmosphere of friends, steaks, fellowship, football, and arguments. or is should say disagreements. example, a friends saw a toyota commercial and made the comment that toyota sold their rights so now they are made here in america, right here in texas. his claim was that it was a texas truck. well, needless to say my other friend disagreed. "toyota, a texas product?" but all in all it was good clean disagreements. 

i have thought about what i am to do for this next season and i think i have a direction, or a clear voice from the lord. i will not divulge it now but rather, wait, and get confirmation from my friends. yesterday in worship i really felt a peace about the decision and thought about how awesome it is to finally not have a trust dependent on my circumstances. i really wanted to say it out loud on the mic. "if god's goodness, if his blessing, if his love were all dependent on the circumstances, who would stick around to love him or pursue his presence?" not i. because it isn't. this earth, as we accept it, is a sin cursed earth, full of deceit, full of disease, full of obstacles, and this isn't gonna change, because there is sin on this earth. sin is a direct influence on the change of circumstances. because of sin we experience a flux of circumstances that trouble our emotions. god's love is the balance, god's love is the advice that brings our life into homeostasis. i believe he has the power to change the circumstances, i believe he could intervene and change what is going on. i know, however, god has given free will, for him to intervene and change things removes the power of free will which he bestows, because he wants his children to love him for who he is not for what they experience.

Friday, September 5, 2008

not you again

about one year ago i was called into an office and told by people who genuinely care about me that they think the world of me, and that they want me to continue to work for the church, but under the certain circumstances there is no money in the budget to pay me. wow! is what i thought and i knew that those at the church are not telling me necessarily that my gifting is not worth it but rather the position is not on the list of priorities. ok, i thought, no problem, god's got me taken care of. and he did one week later. someone who did not go to the church began paying my salary. whew, what a relief, right? well things progressed, as they should, at the church and ideas of grander things and greater opportunities were becoming evident. well, one problem, the church still doesn't have the money to pay me. my supporter informed me that there would be openings to work for him and that is what he would like for me to do if he was going to continue contributing to me. i need him to at this point because i don't have a job, and i know the church doesn't have the salary anytime soon to give to me. so as it seems, at this present point, i am at a halt in my plans for what i was thinking about doing. am i scared? no not at all, i know god will provide, he always has, he always will. i am more or less just concerned about my willingness to do, or say yes to something so quickly. i am beginning to see how vulnerable this makes me to people, even those who serve the kingdom of god. are people taking advantage of me, i truly don't think so. i do think however, that one who continues to be in a place of serving will never be able to experience the sending. i love working for the ministry, i really do. and i would hate to work a 9-5 job like the average man. 

i am faced with pretty much the same dilemma i was faced with last year. i am wondering, who is being tested, and who's faith is gonna be stronger as a result. in all honesty, i am so willing to break my back, bending over backwards, in order to be in a place of fulfillment. ultimately, i know when i look back after years of fulfillment that it was not a sacrifice at all. but i feel sometimes when i publicly express my willingness to bend over backwards, i am the one who seems to get taken advantage of. it sure seems easy for me to stay at the bottom of the totem pole. man, i hate being on the verge of letting it all out but knowing that by doing that i will create more harm than good. so i face this challenge again. the thought of "well, if it was important to have me here enough to someone, i would be here." maybe that is why i am still here, cause it's important to god enough. i know it's not me, it's the position i so happen to fill.

i am glad god's seeing it all working out


Thursday, September 4, 2008

get your favorite dallas cowboys shirt ready

every year for me is getting bigger and better when it comes to dallas cowboys football. the emotional roller coaster of the super bowl pursuit, the thrill of t.o. in the endzone with the ball, romo may or may not have jessica in his players box. it gets better and better. i am prepared for dutch to pick up right where i am here and not waste any time with wondering if he will be a cowboys fan. i hear story's on the radio all the time of people who had been plugged right into their town's pro team's since they were kids and were die hard fans ever since. i want dutch to be one of those testimonies. i want him to be able to say to others, "i remember the good ole days when we had an owner who hated to lose and would trade anything in the world to get that super bowl championship." i want him to call into sports radio stations telling them, "member when we had the romo, owens connection to look forward to every sunday? why can't we get players in here like that era?" i dream of that. this sunday he will be prepared to show his colors. thanks to uncle parra he has a romo onesie he will be sporting for the season. it says 12 month old on the tag but if you haven't seen dutch lately he is not your average size. he's not fat, but he's not small either. i am pumped for him to experience this season of the cowboys even though he won't remember this exact season...or will he? i intend on pluggin him in early. i think sporting your favorite jersey on the cowboys season opener is number three when it comes to attire on sunday morning church. easter, girls get there pretty little dresses on and show them off, christmas time everyone dresses appropriately for the holidays, and cowboys season opener everyone dresses in their favorite cowboys attire. is there any harm in that..nah, i don't think so.

go cowboys!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

what in the world

the more i hear about medications and the practitioners who prescribe them the more i get uneasy about our whole method of approaching disorders and illness. someone close to me, no not me, has been prescribed, by their doctor, to take a certain medication for their cholesterol. this medication in turn has effected another natural aspect of their body. the doctor, instead of recommending an alternative to medication, has prescribed yet another pill to take care of the responding ailment to the cholesterol medicine. i am only waiting for this doctor to prescribe a drug that will offset the imbalance these other medications are causing in the body of my friend. 

can i say that in today's medicinal practices practitioners are only concerned with turing a profit? no i can't but, can i say that doctors are careful in their prescriptions, only concerned for the well being of their patient? definitely no! emphatically no! i was reading in a a book talking about this issue. this book had a testimonial of a woman who was suffering from depression. the doctor had told her to try a new drug out on the market, zoloft. the doctor had no interest in the cause of depression and without hesitation prescribed zoloft. the woman in this case was not aware of the side effects present in zoloft. nor was she educated on the proper way to handle these side effects. she began suffering the side effects of zoloft, which are:

suicidal thoughts
behavior changes
panic attacks  
thoughts of hurting others

she then returned to the doctor and told him about the side effects she had been experiencing. the doctor told her it was a natural reaction of the body to zoloft. it will get this way before it gets better kind of thing. he suggested that she up the dosage. she did and later attempted suicide only stopping because someone she knew stopped her. 

my point is this. our bodies respond greatly to what we put in them, from cheeseburgers to braces. you put something in your body, be educated on the item. do NOT take the doctors word simply because of his gown and money he has made. his practice, like every medicinal practitioner out there, is based on theory. back to my friend earlier. their problem would be solved if they would simply change their diet. nutrition plays a huge part in your body's function. 

eat right live right

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

now i see

my texts books have arrived and i could not be happier. i need to start reading and the mail system we have in place in this great nation is interfering with that process. ultimately i am to blame. i have a system for school. i show up on the first day and hear from the professors mouth what books i will need and won't need and then that night i will order them from amazon. it saves me money and time of returning books to the awful bookstore at dbu. but the flipside is what is happening now and i will be a bit behind on some of the reading. my classes this year are gonna be tough. i have one class called pre-practicum, which basically prepares me for my internship at a local site. i am taking another, very interesting class, called psychopathology, also known as abnormal psychology. this class relates to diagnosing disorders and disfunctions of the brain. and i received two of those texts books in which i began reading promptly.

the text book i have called modern psychopathologies has an extensive look on the early church and their framework on approaching abnormal psychology in their times. i love this. this is something i know can help, not just me but the church in general. "christ and his apostles laid the foundation for a church committed to the care of each member and instructed believers to make this a central aspect of life within the body of christ." but since scripture doesn't carry the language of contemporary psychopathology better understanding through teachings of the early church and the scriptures we can, as believers, better understand, and adequately care for those who are suffering from mental disorders. i truly believe humanity now is more corrupt than it has ever been. could this then imply that if we look back to early teachings we might find a purer and less diluted teaching on addressing disorders? i am speaking on a church perspective solely, for the care of others. i believe in the early literature of abnormal psych we will find answers to questions we have right now. one is the relevancy of the church today. this question has been on my mind the last few weeks. how is it that we serve the creator, yet cannot carry the faith to see certain things happen? how is it we serve the finisher of time, yet we are terrified of the enemies tactics and shrink back in our faith? it baffles me. i understand that the soul is stained by sin and because of this, in the believer, this arouses turmoil between the desires that god created for humans to experience and the perversion of those through sin."the body lives through the soul and it is the soul by which we enjoy god." sin is the impurity that corrupts not just abruptly but also we can find the stain taking more prevalence over time. commonly we think of the initial toll of sin in our lives and there is no need to discuss this further, but even then the "long haul," the individual who has given themselves to a particular sin for so long can have major consequences, obviously. "the impact of sin on the human soul has been the primary concern of the shepherds of the church, whose responsibility it was to offer instruction, guidance and care." and as i was reading i came across a "startling discovery" as they would say on forensic files. confession of sin in the early church was a huge deal, huge meaning public, openly, in front of everyone. how embarrassing? the didache written one generation after the close of the new testament, instructed the church to gather on the Lord's day to "confess your sins, and not approach prayer with a bad conscience" to "break bread and give thanks, first confessing sins so that your sacrifice may be pure." this changed gradually, as confession was beginning to be seen as an ailment in the body. no one would go around telling people they had this or that, nor would i. but confession then was beginning to be done only to those who seemed as though they could help, like a doctor for an infirmity in the body. pope leo the great, in the fifth century, made it official that confession should only be made to a priest. he felt that public confession was dangerous, and "many would avoid penance if public confession was required." this made it all clear to me and exposed the enemy in a new light.

the early church had a different mind set, of course. the idea was you ARE tainted with sin so come to church to get rid of it before god and others. the church of today has a different approach, whereas the early church carried the notion that man was tainted and had the "come as you are mentality." in today's church i dare say that the church doesn't address this regularly because there is an overwhelming feeling of "i am good enough, i don't need this" or "i don't go to church cause i am not perfect."  for many i am concerned that they don't go to church cause the feeling of inadequacy is so overwhelming. this shouldn't be so. this is not created by the one feeling overwhelmed. this is created by the one attending church. 

things need to change, but not out of fear. i hate when changes are made because an individual fears something else, the repercussions, the consequences, or whatever. this doesn't eliminate the problem but rather creates a new one. the church is made irrelevant not by imperfect men, but by the lack of faith the christian man has. a lacking faith shrinks back into nothing. satan can use this nothing more than you think. in turn you too will begin to believe that your faith in christ is irrelevant. to me, my faith is everything. believing in christ for a miracle, for a bill to be paid, for a song to be written, for my cars to work, believing in him is everything. and as long it is is everything to you it CANNOT be irrelevant. make your stand, in faith, that you are no better than the hookers on harry hines, or the cheaters in the gentlemen's clubs, in terms of deserved soul destination. this imperfection doesn't exclude their need for church anymore than it excludes your need for church. make confession a daily part of your life, make it so loud in your actions that is leads others to confess. we are all in need of a savior. since the early church was closest to understanding the meaning of the first law i will assume they grasped the concept the best. 

we need jesus more than anything in this world.