so liz and i are at 5 years in our marriage. this is great, monumental in some circles, and by today's standards we have been able to conquer statistics that reveal otherwise without ripping each others heads off. liz we have found ourselves in crisis on many occasions. the things i remember about these crisis or situations, which don't necessarily involve our marriage, are the talks you have given me to lift my spirits. i wouldn't say i am a completely dysfunctional human being but there have been things that have wrecked my confidence, decisions that i regret making, and even a type of person i wished i was but sadly am not and these particular things have all been spilled upon you because you are there. with all humility i praise god for the wife that you are. you have heard and seen the basket case that i am, at different times, and have been the words of wisdom and the anchor for me in a rushing stream. you know those moments that i have felt as though letting go would be easiest and more beneficial, liz, you continue to find new ways to keep me going when i didn't even think i had that much left in the tank. every april, every november when i have procrastinated on papers, tests, or projects that are all due by the end of that month, i have had the same attitude..."i can't do this," yet you have had the magic wand with your words to remind me of the previous times i have overcome harder times and made it to where i am now. most importantly you have done all of this without allowing me to be completely dependent upon your presence. i have been able to remember your strength and will power to endure hard times even when your NOT present. i have said it many times and i say it again that you are the completion of me in areas that i lack the most. you are the person i think of when i think true love. and its not just me who notices this about you. there have been countless testimonials about the measure of your love, the depth of your grace, and the never ending supply of your wisdom. if people can't see jesus in you then they need only to spend another moment hearing your words that express the heart of a loving king for his people. i can't and don't want to spend another moment imagining what my life would be like without you. this last week that i have experienced away from you, while you are in alaska, i tend to think about how real the emptiness of this home would be without you in it. how incomplete my life is without you beside me, and how meaningless it would be to plan for the future without you walking with me through it. i thought about the possibilities of it being over, like statistics say it should be by now, and i have come to understand that the greatest mysteries of our marriage are but a moment away. those mysteries will never end as long as jesus is our center, and you are my second. i vow to continue to make you my second and to strive to make you happy outside of the bedroom as much as i can inside the bedroom. i promise to love you when you are perfect AND love you when you are the farthest from it...and all in between. i promise to support you when are weak, to hold you when you are frail, and to mend you when you are broken. i can't remember a better 5 year span of my life. i am looking forward to the moment we are in our 80' and living and breathing as though we are in our 30's and looking back and saying that we couldn't recall a better time to be living. not because of our choices to be healthier, or our success as people, not because we accomplished so much or raised kids to be god fearing believers, not because we made a name for ourselves, or we were able to win people to the lord, not because we have friends or maybe by that point we won't have any friends...but because we will be living with each other side by side from the beginning.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
5 golden rings
in light of the most significant day of the year in my marriage i had wanted to post something to honor my "fembot." not that she is a robot who's only function is to provide sex appeal, or that she prances around in sexually provocative lingerie with her hair pulled up but yet flowing like a golden waterfall. i secretly enjoy pet names yet i am too proud to call her by the typical babe, honey, or sweetie. so calling her my fembot is therapeutic. this is a moment i am willing to disclose personal information about myself without shame. i think that wives unconsciously and secretly enjoy these types of moments when their husbands are willing to admit to being proud and disclose humbling information about themselves in an open forum.