any male can be a fertilizer

i know dutch may never read this. i can't help but write it anyway because of this days importance for him more so than for me. it is a day of honor for dads but i hope that it can be understood that without the sons or daughters there would be no dads. there may still be fathers but because of the offspring there becomes a chance for a "father" to become more than a fertilizer. i love this opportunity, i embrace this opportunity, and i hope that my son experiences all the good, the bad, and the ugly in order to mature him to what god wants him to be. i thought about if i would want my kid to be in a situation where he grows up with anything he wants or if he were to grow up living in need, basically not getting anything he wanted, i don't have an answer. i think they are both pointing to a depraved mind. i know i will protect him to the fullest capacity, i will nourish him to my fullest capability, i will discipline him in my deepest love for growth, but he will use his free will, hopefully to pursue his creator to his fullest capacity. i know, ultimately, that would make me the happiest dad and that is what i want this day to be for me as long as my children are alive. 

i thought about those days, when i worked at the church, i was able to be with him one day out of the week. it was peanut and i all day long. i took those single days for granted, because i can't do that now. i thought about this on my way to work and broke down crying because of the importance of not just father figures but "dad" figures, which are needed for everyone...yes EVERYONE.

dutch's first word was actually "no" and this doesn't count because every kid is told this the first 2 years of their existence. if i can recall his next word was "dadd-y" with such an emphasis on the "y." i guess this makes me happy because with the emphasis on the last letter it makes it sound so much more joyful. go ahead try saying it with the emphasis on the "y" and call your dad, dadd-y today cause it makes for a wonderful phrase. the way my son says it will stick with me the rest of my life.