Tuesday, December 15, 2009

oh she is, oh she is

i am married to an incredible woman. i have seen and experienced so much my interpretation is limited on this forum. i would like to share some thoughts on woman and her ability, as i have seen through my wife and not her only but the amazing women i consider friends. it is quite obvious man is different. created differently, therefore, acting differently throughout his life. likewise, he interprets things differently and responds differently. i believe that man, through his creation, can help or hinder those features of his woman that are meant to grow her into what god has intended. so then it means he has an influence in his wife's created order to help her see god the way she needs to and help her to understand how god sees her the way she needs to. undeniably his woman has formulated an opinion about many things and has established a worldview prior to their meeting and joining. the development, much like physiological development, does not stop at any certain age or occurrence. so by this i mean that despite her supposition she still is able to continue growing her current assumptions of life and likewise, change her current assumption of life. this is what i would think of when i think of god's redemptive purpose in marriage, for both parties.

with that said, let me share a thought about woman that her husband, or man, may influence but has no ability to gain through any influence of his wife. that is the idea of nourishment. i can only explain it by telling you of the amazing character and opinion of life that still remains even after her complete giving of herself in ways that man would otherwise resort to hopelessness. my recent experience looks like this:

1.) her desire for another life
this alone changes the dynamic of family in such a way that in many ways and in many unconscious opinions is not tolerable. the man thinks of the negative aspects and the struggles that come with another life involved in the already hectic and taxing existence. not that man does not desire babies or creating life, but rather, i believe he has a limited desire compared to that of his wife's. it is huge because those with children can attest on some level that the woman's desire trumps mans fear and pessimism. i don't believe man hates children and if you read this and think i am saying that, than your missing the point. i love my children and would not trade my previous environment for the current one. but i would only be able to actually say this and live this if i had my wife with me. this is what i believe is the divine nature of god working to influence my understanding of my need for my wife in ways that are not tangible or affordable by any monetary means.

2.) pregnancy
this encompasses tolerance, pain, agony, fear, and incredible discomfort. all the while, instilling hope, courage, power, and reinforcing her ability to be what god had created her to be. this gives god an incredible amount of glory and honor. this might explain, in some form, why it is so long. obviously the baby needs time to grow and develop within the womb but if god had wanted it to be created instantly than he could have done this with just one spoken word. length suggests more than just development. it possess all things needed to encourage the woman in her ability to nourish. this is why man possibly will never get nourishment the way his wife does. will he possess the capability to nourish? yes he will, but this is extremely taxing on his mental capacity.

3. the birthing
i really don't need to share to much about this aspect. childbirth is very hard on a woman's body and rightfully so. there is nothing like it for a man i can imagine. ok maybe a kidney stone passing thru but lets be honest, man has no desire for a kidney stone like a woman contains for a child to be born. what i think is so fascinating about the design of a woman is that the word says she will bare a child in pain. it is not a secret and she knows it is coming and can fully expect that every time she has a child she will experience pain. yet, for some reason, she still desires a child and after the whole process of pregnancy, childbirth, and late night feedings, she will yet forget it all in an instant at the sight of her baby. it is like her mind switches to a different mode, or she has been flashed with one of those gadgets like in that movie, men in black to erase her memory of the incredible amount of pain this little thing has put her through. it is truly amazing and can only be attributed to divine order. the word says she will experience pain and yet desire her husband. as if to suggest there is a part of her that feels a mandate to procreate and pursue her husband despite the pain it will possibly bring. phenomenal!

4.) child rearing
the late night feedings, the sore nipples, limited communication, and the tangible expenditures are just a few of the many expectations in child rearing. how a woman is able to endure and yet maintain a somewhat calm demeanor is beyond my understanding. i am not naive and i believe there is a bigger role for the husband in this part of the child's existence that contributes to the sanity of the mother. but there is obviously another level of operation that a woman can attain that is beyond my comprehension. the word talks about man's punishment in the fall dealing with the things he works towards. i mean that in his lifetime, all that he is trying to develop, there will be somewhat of a obstacle in his ability to produce. this is consistent in all things not just in provision of food, and growing crops. i have never worked a field in my life and think that there are many like me who have never even plowed a field. it is not talking about farmers but rather what man strives to obtain, in all entities. so when man wants love, he works at it and endures obstacles that may prevent his object from receiving his love and likewise from him getting love. when he wants any business to grow he works at it; late hours, money, time, and sacrifice of personal pleasure in order to find success. this has an influence in his ability to nourish his children. whereas it comes at such an incredibly natural and easy response for a woman, man struggles to nourish his kids, love his wife, and maintain all the other things that correlate with life. i think this is where a lot of men draw from when their wife suggests having another baby. they begin to think about their own personal struggles and then the struggles that are present with child rearing. this introduces a significant need a husband has for the wife, not just a woman, but a wife.

this is a recent revelation of the woman i married. i then can see it in the other women i know. i think it is so amazing how something that is important for my body, like sleep, will change my demeanor in such a drastic way if i don't get enough. for my wife, it seems, she could stay up all night with little titus and wake the next morning without a hesitation in her step. i know she would feel it. but for me, if i miss 3 hours in the middle of the night the whole world will hear about it the next day. she is truly amazing to be able to wake in an instant from a dead sleep, attend to her child's needs, and then return to bed only getting a few hours before she must wake for her daily duties. shame on me for my laziness, and shame on me for not loving her because of her character, and divine attributes. shame on me for allowing vanity and deceitful entities as charm and beauty to be the at the forefront of my ability to love my wife the way god as mandated husbands to love their wife. not that i don't think she is beautiful on the outside...oh she is, oh she is.


racheljenae said...

my question: If pain in childbirth and desire for your husband are part of the curse from the fall, are they redeemed through the death and resurrection of jesus? Like healing? Like everything else that came through the fall that Jesus came to redeem. Are those two things that we are to appropriate the blood of Jesus for to redeem them while on the Earth???
I've thought of this alot, so i'm curious what you think.

bullets said...

well, first off, i don't see the desire for the husband as a punishment/curse. i see this as the conundrum that surrounds the process of bringing new life and the acting out of the woman's gifting. the woman is the nourisher and yet to be able to nourish she needs a child to rear and still yet a man must help in that process. i see god ordaining, as the created order before the fall, woman's desire for man. this is constant, always has been and always will be. the fall distorts, corrupts, and changes this, however, her desire is still for man. i am speaking in general terms, i think lesbianism introduces a whole new array of questions. so her desire will always be for man, likewise her created ability was nourishment (for husband and child). she wants both child and husband. the desire for a husband fulfills her created order and the result of a desired husband (a child) also fulfills her. the fall, however, introduced the painful process to accomplish both. like jesus explained to the pharisees, we are not married nor are we given in marriage in the age to come (luke 20:35). so to answer your inquiry about the healing process for a woman desiring her husband i am not sure she will be desiring her husband in the same way, upon resurrection. the blood of jesus does, however, bring to fruition the proper pursuit of both woman for husband and her desire for child. for all those who confess his lordship. so to answer whether they are redeemed through the death and resurrection...i think all sin is redeemable but not without it's sting for those who believe. the wages of sin ARE death. i think it is foolish theology to assume god does not want expect anything from us upon confession of him. pain just happens to be introduced in the process of childbirth as apart of her expectation. is it wrong? maybe, but who am i to question the potter.

racheljenae said...

Interesting points. Yes I think a woman desiring her husband came before the fall, but was corrupted in the fall where a woman can desire a husband more than God and struggle there. Second, I really do believe that the pain in childbirth can be taken away/just as we can be healed. I've actually met several women who have had zero pain in childbirth and believe it is totally a miracle! I think it's one thing to 'question the potter', but completely something else to believe and gain more understanding for what God originally intended that we corrupted. Also: healing, right standing/communion with him, holiness, etc.
These are just thoughts, not sure there's really a conclusion to get to, but i always enjoy hearing yours.

bullets said...

i too enjoy hearing yours jenae. there are not many women who will engage in words what they are holding in thought. even if they are wrong. not saying you are but saying i appreciate how you look at things from a "jeopardy" perspective. what i mean by that is that for me personally, i was always scared to answer a question, when i played jeopardy in school, because i thought it better to have 0 points than negative. you, however, are not afraid to be docked points for the sake of sharing what you think. i like that a lot and can only think of a handful of women who do this.