finn and the fan

i remember the details of my kids sleeping experiences very very well. things for me were drastically changed upon the entry of children into my world. i was, before dutch, a morning person. i loved the mornings and getting up early studying and reading the bible. praying up at my office, which consisted of the church's coffee shop, which i operated. it wasn't uncommon for me to be the first one on campus while it was still dark and i would sit there filling my belly with americano style coffee. it was also during this time i gained a deep and great appreciation for ambient and instrumental style music. songs without words from the likes of hammock, helios, eluvium, and loscil, which would later expand into quite a collection for me.

that was me, before kids, and i was quite taken with this lifestyle.

when dutch was born, to say that things changed, is quite the understatement. sleep would become a deep craving and last for the next 4-5 years of my life, dutch gave way to titus and titus has now given way to finn. parents with young children can attest to my musings.

i have always been somewhat unconventional, it seems anyway, with my newborn kids NOT sleeping in my bed with me or even in the same room. living in belgium, having the luxury to accommodate this need has not been easy. space has proven to be difficult and my conventional ways have been tested.

finn has basically lived his existence in our room with my wife and me. it wasn't as bad in the beginning because he lived to sleep. as he got older, however, things changed and it seemed that the faintest of noises was as if we injected red bull into his veins. he would awake and believe that it was time to get out of bed. "oh, people are in here awake, it must be time to get out of bed," is the opinion i am sure finn had. so life with a kid in our room changed the way we unwind.

when a room became available it took no logical debate to convince my wife that our sweetest finn needs his own space. rhetoric guised in the language of his comfort when i really was the little baby in the situation who needed his own way. we proceeded to move finn into his own room and the night was transformed for the both of us. i discovered conversation with my wife again, i found my passion to read before bed slowly make its way through the door, and it seemed i could roll over in our bed without fear that the covers would sound like a torrential downpour of water over a cliff and disturb prince finnik liam the first. my love affair with sleep was rekindled! my life was transformed and so became my mornings.

"what about this fan," you say? oh, well now that the summers are here the heat in our room is the equivalency of finn standing in his crib crying for hours on end. i despise sweating while i am in the sleeping mood. the presence of a fan blowing and circulating the sweet coolness of the nightly air in our room makes for what i can only describe as the perfect ingredients for one of the lords most sacred commands...REST!!!

children as the same image

i love finding things out on how to raise my children more biblically. some things i feel good about because, of course, my conviction lines up with a certain perspective and other times i find myself re-analyzing something because i realize i should parent differently. here is a great post by mark lauterbach.

Par­ents, includ­ing myself, tend to miss part of the lens. We lean toward cer­tain per­spec­tives. We often view all prob­lems with our kids in light of sin. We are tempted to miss redemp­tion, and to view all solu­tions to sin in terms of moral­ity and moral pres­sure (as in, “How many times do I have to tell you to clean up your room?”).

you can read the rest here.