Tuesday, September 22, 2009


a mother who is faced with the challenges of raising two girls, who are not even in her presence continuously to even make a difference, finds herself in a competition with their father...for their (girls) affection. divorced and desiring companionship she seeks comfort in the arms of a different man in her current setting. the desire to lean on someone has divided her attention, leaving an empty tank of emotion and affection for her growing offspring. her eldest, 12, is facing the brutal reality of true sacrificial love at such an early age. she is taking in every bit of the sacrifice her mother is NOT willing to make. she applies this to every relationship and regurgitates the need consistently, based on what she has been exposed to already. her future and her understanding of true love all hinges on how she will walk through the next few years of absorption. the younger daughter, 10, seems to passively take in and grasp unwittingly what marriage means to her. she WILL manifest her understanding of sacrificial love later in life. however, i fear the consequences of her previous 2 years of experience will have a profound effect on what is deemed healthy and what is deemed unheathly, as she may not fully retain an idea of health. she is better suited to be salvaged at this point. more so than her sister. unchecked, however, and she will find her experiences and responses quite similar to her elder sister's, which are very unpleasant. the eldest is either afraid, deeply hurt, or frustrated, and yet maybe all of the above. this contributes a great deal to her inability to show affection for her younger sister. instead anger, bitterness, frustration, all make a comfortable home inside her heart. this does, inevitably, reveal more than i would bet she originally was willing to communicate.


LIZZY said...

so with whom does the larger fault lay...mom or dad?

bullets said...

well, to be honest, what i have come to realize is that we live in such a twisted world. parents who are the most brilliant parents are puzzled by there recent awakening of such a rebellious child. the most dysfunctional parents produce the most god fearing bible believing missionary that changes the nations. it is a conundrum and one that i haven't found an answer for. my feeling is that the eldest daughter has such a hatred for anything that is connected to her mother and father's relationship. she equates any such emotion towards any one member of the family as a hatred for what they have done for her. this plays out in all her relationships throughout her family...she cannot and will not show emotion. however, her friends, she reveals a great deal of love and support, or emotional comfort in that relationship.